Alsop's Small Thoughts

CS Rant: United's "non-refundable" fares

Everybody loves to complain about big airlines. It's intimidating to try to be creative in ranting about United, in particular, even though I am a Million Miler and Global Services Customer with a black Mileage Plus card. But this incident took the cake.

I bought a non-refundable ticket to fly from San Francisco to Albuquerque and back. I know that non-refundable means that you pay a charge to change the ticket, usually $100. The ticket cost me $355.40. After buying the ticket online, I had to change it: It was a personal trip and I had to make the change for personal reasons, so I couldn't lay the cost off on business. That might explain why what happened next felt really personal.

I called United Global Services Customer Support (you know the special phone number for really special customers). The person who answered the phone, after I was on hold for only a minute or so, immediately informed me that I had a non-refundable ticket. I told him that I knew that but that I had to cancel the outbound segment of the trip and keep the return. He then repeated that I had a non-refundable ticket and told me that, after I was charged the $100 fee, I would be due a refund of $90.20. (No, I can't figure out the math, either.) I said that I understood but that I wanted to buy another round-trip ticket and could he apply the refund to this new ticket. He reminded me once again that I had a non-refundable ticket.

You know the answer to the question, just because I'm writing this rant. Of course not! The reason: United would issue the refund as a travel credit and mail it to me. When I received the promised voucher, in 4-6 weeks, I would need to go to an airport or United ticket office to use the voucher. When I enquired whether I could use the voucher in making an online reservation, he said that was a "feature" that would be introduced early next year.

I reminded him that I am a Million Miler and Global Services customer and asked him if he was allowed to make an exception for special customers and help me use the refund or otherwise provide me with a useful customer service. He told me that he had to abide by the rules and, once again, reminded me that I was the one who had bought a non-refundable ticket, as though that was a criminal act. I couldn't help thinking what sick shape United really is in, if it's customer service people for their best customers are trained to be insipid and imperious. I told him that he appeared to have done everything he could for me and hung up the phone.

I've since received the voucher. I not only have to turn it in physically (meaning that I can't apply it to a reservation already made, but have to make the reservation physically in order to use the credit) but I can only use it on United (not even United's codeshare partners; so much for the Star Alliance) and must use it within a year.

Here's the rant: In the age of electronic commerce and Web 2.0, United Airlines collected my money to pay for my ticket instantly. But in that same age of electronic commerce, I had to wait for United to mail me a paper certificate that is not a "refund" of real money paid to them for a service they never provided to me. They haven't even troubled themselves to make that refund useable on the very same Web site on which they are able to take my money instantly! And all this for one of their best customers.

Mileage reward programs used to motivate me. But this summer I've flown round trip twice on Jet Blue and twice on Southwest Airlines. They have customer reward programs, which I don't know much about and don't seem very useful. But I do know that if I have to change or cancel a reserved flight, they keep track of my credits electronically and will apply those credits automatically when I make another reservation. I have to use the credits within a year and on the same airline. But I don't have to wait for the mail and I don't have to go to the airport to make a reservation. I feel much more like a human being who is treated as a rational and responsible member of the human race, rather than a despicable, potential criminal trying to steal something.

I'm past caring about the 509,641 miles I have in my Mileage Plus account and am planning to only fly United when I absolutely have to. This after 20+ years of favoring United out of San Francisco airport.

Wonder why United went bankrupt and seems to have trouble managing itself, when it treats its best customers this way?

Ripped Off by Davy Crockett

There was one room left in all of Santa Barbara: At the Fess Parker Doubletree Resort for $414. I took it.

Checked in at 10pm Saturday evening. Tried the PC but its security log is full and only an administrator can "fix the problem". Fortunately, I brought both of my computers. On the Macintosh, the wireless internet failed to authenticate me as myself. The front desk told me to call the Hotline. I said I didn't want to do that. (Been there done that!) I said that I thought the reason for paying $9.95 a night for internet access was that it would actually work. He said they are having trouble with it throughout the hotel and would send a "wireless bridge" to my room. Now it's 10:47pm, no wireless bridge. Oops: The wireless bridge came. Same result: Couldn't authenticate me as myself. Still don't know what a wireless bridge is. I gave up, checked out early the next day, and went to Starbucks to send my email there. Guess what: The network in that Starbucks didn't work either.

(This was Saturday night and Sunday morning. I finally got enough time on the computer on the Internet to post this on Monday morning.)

Contrast: I paid $414 plus tax for the Fess Parker, which was more like a Holiday Inn even forgetting the Internet access. I checked into the Loew's Santa Monica last night. High speed wired Internet that works and a first class hotel for $295. That's why I was ripped off by Fess Parker, no disrespect meant to Davy Crockett, my man!

Customer service rant: Hertz #2

Unable to actually talk on the phone to a human being at Hertz who knows something about my rental reservation (see Renting Wasted Time), I decided to visit the Hertz office where I am due to pick the car up on Saturday. There I had the distinct pleasure of learning that A) the clerk is "restricted" from being able to see reservation records until two days before the reservation; B) I needed to pick up the toll free phone (see Renting Wasted Time) to find out what class of car I had reserved; C) that I must be stupid to not know what cars are including under the friendly moniker "L00 (SFAR) 4WD/AWD SUV" that I was able to look up in my Handspring Treo (since I'm not restricted from looking up records in my little computer thingie); D) that I shouldn't use profanities when a customer service representative is unable to provide a customer with service and is snotty about it to boot!

Anybody know a good rental car company that I could use instead of Hertz. (And I doubt it's Avis!)

Renting Wasted TIme

I called Hertz today. I wanted to talk an actual human being in the office where I'm picking up a rental on Saturday. I wanted to make sure they would actually have the car I reserved. I called the local number. I got a message center in Oklahoma. The lady was very nice, but she couldn't look at my reservation, she couldn't get me on the line with someone in the renting office, she couldn't even remember that I had called an office in San Francisco, and she really couldn't do anything for me. So I told her I would go physically to the office.

Isn't that great customer service design? Make it impossible to talk to the person you need to talk to and ensure that the person you do talk to can't possibly respond to your request.