Alsop's Small Thoughts

Over Caffeinated Travel Alerts

You'll have to be dedicated to reading rants about United Airlines to get through this one, but I couldn't resist documenting this online for posterity! I had a reservation on UA 844, departing SFO for LAX at 2:59pm on Monday, October 27. What happened that afternoon was a classic!

At 12:11pm, before I left the office (I parked my car at the airport), I received a re-assuring confirmation that the flight was due to leave on time.

Monday, October 27, 2008 12:11 PM

** UNITED AIRLINES DEPARTURE REMINDER MESSAGE **

The following flight is scheduled for departure:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Flight Number: 844

Departing From: San Francisco California (SFO)

Traveling To: Los Angeles International (LAX)

Date: October 27

Gate: 73 (Gate is subject to change)

Estimated Departure Time: 2:59 p.m.on time

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Flight times are subject to change. Please check the flight information monitors at the airport.

Being a diligent traveler, I left the office around 12:40pm. As I was pulling away I got the following flight cancellation notice. I also got an automated phone call, to United's credit.

Monday, October 27, 2008 12:51 PM

** UNITED AIRLINES FLIGHT CANCELLATION MESSAGE **

The following flight has been cancelled:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Flight Number: 844

Departing From: San Francisco California (SFO)

Traveling To: Los Angeles International (LAX)

Date: October 27

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We may have already booked you on an alternate flight. Please contact a United Customer Service Representative or call United Reservations at 1-800-241-6522.

We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused.

As a result of the phone notification, I called United from my car and managed to rebook myself on the next flight, UA 119. Shortly after that, while still driving toward the airport, I got another (presumably re-assuring) notification that this flight was on time.

Monday, October 27, 2008 1:13 PM

** UNITED AIRLINES DEPARTURE REMINDER MESSAGE **

The following flight is scheduled for departure:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Flight Number: 119

Departing From: San Francisco California (SFO)

Traveling To: Los Angeles International (LAX)

Date: October 27

Gate: 74 (Gate is subject to change)

Estimated Departure Time: 3:58 p.m.on time

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Flight times are subject to change. Please check the flight information monitors at the airport.

Shortly after I parked my car and got into the airport, I received the following rebooking message, which startled me. I calmed down when I realized that United had rebooked me automatically from the cancelled flight. I was only amused (instead of enraged) that they had rebooked me on a flight for the following day, just to get to Los Angeles, to which they must have at least 14 or more flights a day.

Monday, October 27, 2008 1:22 PM

** UNITED AIRLINES FLIGHT REBOOKING MESSAGE **

Dear ALSOP / STEWART MR II,

We regret to inform you that a delay has affected the following flight(s):

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Flight Number: 844

Operated By: United Airlines

Departing From: San Francisco California (SFO)

Traveling To: Los Angeles (LAX)

Date: October 27

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We have made additional arrangements for you on the best available, alternate flight. Your new itinerary is:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Flight Number: 1153

Operated By: United Airlines

Departing From: San Francisco California (SFO)

Departing: 6:11 a.m.

Traveling To: Los Angeles (LAX)

Arriving: 7:37 a.m.

Date: October 28

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I checked in to get my boarding pass, the gate agent offered to put me on a 12:50pm flight that had not yet left and was then scheduled for a 2:30pm departure. I would have had to scramble through security to make that flight (in less than 30 minutes), but I had scheduled a meeting with one of my CEOs at the airport so I kept my rebooked reservation on the 3:58pm departure. Then, after my meeting and getting through security on a reasonably leisurely basis, I get the following notification that my rebooked flight is going to be delayed by at least 90 minutes (from 3:58pm to 5:21pm).

Monday, October 27, 2008 2:30 PM

** UNITED AIRLINES FLIGHT UPDATE MESSAGE **

The following flight time has been revised:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Flight Number: 119

Departing From: San Francisco California (SFO)

Traveling To: Los Angeles International (LAX)

Date: October 27

Gate: 70 (Gate is subject to change)

Estimated Departure Time: 5:21 p.m.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Flight times are subject to change. Please check the flight information monitors at the airport.

Resigned to living with what appeared to be chaos in United's flights going to LAX, I wandered by the gate for that 12:50pm flight the gate agent had offered that was supposed to leave at 2:30pm. And it was still there at 2:30pm with a new departure time of 2:57pm. So I stood in line to see if I could get a seat on that flight (the number of which I can no longer remember) -- and I did. The irony that struck me as I settled into my exit-row seat with lots of leg room and no one in the seat next to me is that my original flight, the cancelled one, was scheduled to leave at 2:58pm, one minute later than the airplane I actually got on and took to LAX. So I arrived at LAX earlier than I was originally scheduled.

But the fun continued! I then got a notification while I was enroute to Los Angeles of a flight delay for a rebooked flight that I was never scheduled to be on at all (to my knowledge, at least)! And, if you read the notice carefully (compared to the first six), you'll notice that it has no departure time or gate. Perhaps it is the phantom flight in United's alerting system, kind of a ghost flight.

Monday, October 27, 2008 3:33 PM

** UNITED AIRLINES FLIGHT REBOOKING MESSAGE **

Dear ALSOP / STEWART MR II,

We regret to inform you that a delay has affected the following flight(s):

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Flight Number: 886

Operated By: United Airlines

Departing From: San Francisco California (SFO)

Traveling To: Los Angeles (LAX)

Date: October 27

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

But that wasn't enough! I also got a notification, time stamped at exactly the same time as the ghost notification, that the flight I was actually rebooked on but had abandoned in favor of the one of I was on when I got the notification (are you following this?) had been delayed another 21 minutes. When I landed at LAX and got this notification, I could only thank my lucky stars that I had hopped on the earlier late flight!

Monday, October 27, 2008 3:33 PM

** UNITED AIRLINES FLIGHT UPDATE MESSAGE **

The following flight time has been revised:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Flight Number: 119

Departing From: San Francisco California (SFO)

Traveling To: Los Angeles International (LAX)

Date: October 27

Gate: 70 (Gate is subject to change)

Estimated Departure Time: 5:42 p.m.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Flight times are subject to change. Please check the flight information monitors at the airport.

Then, to cap it off, after I had checked into my hotel and plugged my computer in before going to dinner (on time!), I got one last notification that the 3:58pm flight had been delayed again to depart at 6:03pm. I made it to dinner before that flight left the gate at SFO.

Monday, October 27, 2008 5:34 PM

** UNITED AIRLINES FLIGHT UPDATE MESSAGE **

The following flight time has been revised:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Flight Number: 119

Departing From: San Francisco California (SFO)

Traveling To: Los Angeles International (LAX)

Date: October 27

Gate: 70 (Gate is subject to change)

Estimated Departure Time: 6:03 p.m.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Flight times are subject to change. Please check the flight information monitors at the airport.

As you can see, this was too delicious to leave undocumented. A total of nine travel alerts from United Airlines in the space of a little more than five hours and the only one that actually alerted me to something I didn't know was the original cancellation notice. I could come up with some kind of moral about alerting systems and computer intelligence or the power of programming, but I'll leave that up to smarter people. I just feel better for having shared!

Stupid Airline Stories

I was picking up my girlfriend at the Albuquerque airport Monday evening. She emailed me that the flight left at least 20 minutes late, but that she didn't know when it would arrive. Here's the sequence I went through as I drove to the airport from Santa Fe, more than an hour away. I share this with you just to embarrass the airline, which is so much fun:

8:54pm Automated system reports that the flight is arriving on time at 9:25pm. I don't believe this because Robin sent email time-stamped 20 minutes after flight was supposed to leave.

8:56pm I call back to bypass the automated system. Press 0 four times to get human being. Human being says flight is arriving 2 minutes late, even though the flight left 39 minutes late. "They will make up the time in flight". Right.

I keep driving, knowing that it would be worse to arrive after the girlfriend than to park somewhere and wait.

9:35pm: I'm in Albuquerque, maybe 10 minutes from the airport. Call the automated system again and hear that the flight is due in at 9:25pm, as in 10 minutes before I called.

9:37pm: I bypass the automated system and get another human being who reports that the flight is due to arrive at 9:27. I say, "10 minutes ago?" She says, "Oh, they haven't updated the system." She says that the flight left San Francisco at 7:08pm for sure. I ask what's the normal flying time. She says it takes about 2 hours and 20 minutes That would put the flight in at 10:28, not 9:25 or 9:27pm.

Reality: Flight lands at 10:08pm. I watch it from the airplane viewing area. Aren't they embarrassed to be this incompetent? Apparently not.

United We Sheila

Thank you to Sheila in the first class cabin on United 353 to San Francisco yesterday afternoon. (I upgraded!). A flight attendant with a sense of humor and a real personality, unbowed by the troubles of her airline. I told her that, since I couldn't marry her, I wanted to know her work schedule so I can be on more of her flights. (Not to mention that the flight was on time, the overhead bin was empty, the TSA agents were pleasant; one might start to think that travel wasn't hell.)

Santa Fe Shuffle

Here's a tale of doing business with a company that you really just want to avoid doing business with, even though almost no one who reads this web site will ever have reason to do business with that company! You're forewarned.

I have a house in Santa Fe, where I am for the first time this year. (Been busy on business matters.) I flew into Albquerque (ABQ for ease of typing) yesterday, the night before Indian Market, the biggest event of the year in Santa Fe. Santa Fe is an hour north of ABQ, so usually I take a shuttle from the airport to downtown Santa Fe. There are four of five shuttle services. I usually use Sandia Shuttle. Reliable, friendly service. Sandia has an online reservation system, which is basic (no Web 2.0 here!) but works.

Being concerned that the shuttles would be full with people going to Indian Market, I got online Thursday evening. (I have a hard time remembering what it was like when you always had to use the phone to make reservations.) Sandia Shuttle doesn't take online reservations less than 24 hours in advance. I tried calling, but their offices hours are during the day. So I tried the other major shuttle service, Santa Fe Shuttle.

That's when I started acting stupid. I went right to the reservation page, which doesn't show the schedule. I made a reservation, which didn't include picking a particular shuttle departure. On the payments page, I chose the Paypal option, impressed that it was even an option. Everything worked fine, including getting my payment confirmation from Paypal by email while I was still on the Paypal page, saving a copy of the receipt to my computer (since I didn't have a printer).

I pressed the button to return to Sante Fe Shuttle's web page. But the button returned an error. So I could return to the home page for the shuttle service or return to PayPal, neither option leading to a specific reservation. Whatever: I figured they had my money and I would take whichever shuttle was available.

The next day I flew to ABQ. (I'll skip over the nightmare seat in the last row next to a lady who could easily have filled two seats.) I went to Santa Fe Shuttle. Their next shuttle doesn't leave for more than an hour. I'm not on the list for the next shuttle. So I call the office and tell the reservation agent I want to cancel and get my money back. She says she can't do that. I ask why: "I just can't do that." I again ask why they can't refund my money for a service they haven't provided. She says I can wait and get on the next shuttle so that they will provide the service. I tell her that the reservation on the web site never confirmed a schedule and now I want to cancel. She laughed and asked me why I made the reservation without knowing the schedule. I asked her: "Did you just laugh at me?" She laughed some more and said, "You really trusted the web site to work?" We had further conversation, too painful to share in detail, that was about how the only way to make a refund was for her to wait for the bookkeeper to come to work (not a daily event) and do some paperwork, which she didn't want to do.

I got upset. I told her that she could keep my money, that I wouldn't do business with her in the future, and that I would report on my experience in the Web. Here I am: I've gone on too long, sharing my suffering. And it was my fault for not checking the schedule first and being certain that I wanted to use their schedule. What kind of attitude leads someone to laugh at a customer for making a mistake?

The question I keep asking myself is: "Is the Web still too hard for a small business to use well?" Sandia Shuttle had set up their web site NOT to accept reservations within a 24 hour window. That's an easy way to avoid exactly what happened to me. (In fact, they did avoid it and were completely booked on their next shuttle because of the people arriving for Indian Market.) Even worse, what would the problem have been for the lady on the phone to take my address and mail me a refund for $23? Does Santa Fe Shuttle operate on such a slim margin that they need unused reservations to continue operating?

Perhaps the lesson is: Companies, large or small, with good attitudes about customers tend to show that good attitude in the way they design their web sites, regardless of whether they are sophisticated about ecommerce or not.

American Scam

Quick post from the road: American Airlines continues to earn my enmity as an airline. It's bad enough, the time I've spent on runways at DFW waiting for a gate or the time I've spent in baggage claim at DFW waiting for my bag. Yesterday was sweet: Stuck in 28F, where the seat back pocket took two inches of my "seat pitch" away from me and added the joy of a metal bar that pushed right into my knees, reminding that I didn't have the full seat pitch available. See the picture for what it looks like to be 6'3" in an American airplane!

This morning was even better. We check in at the self-service kiosk for the next flight and the kiosk offers me an upgrade for $90 to first class. I say yes, but during the process it decides it can't complete the upgrade. Meanwhile, standing right next to me at another kiosk, Gilman (my business partner) does exactly the same thing and gets the upgrade. Given that it's just coming up on 5am my time (7am in Dallas), I can tell you that I feel fairly pissed off at American Airlines for offering me something that it couldn't deliver. And those human beings standing around the self-service kiosks: They said they couldn't do anything about it.

Goddamn soap!

When I'm traveling, as I am, many things annoy. Consistently, I find these little round bars of soap most annoying. I have to open them up in the morning, before I've had coffee, before my fingers have once again become nimble. And they are designed to resist removal of their covering in the most ingenious way: The cover is also round and bound together in the middle with glue that won't give itself up easily. And no tab is provided to allow the big fat fingers to grab hold and tear the paper off. It's as though the hotel decided your day should start wrong, with an annoying, challenging mechanical task before your mind is ready to deal with it. It's unfair. Now I have to get into the shower...

Great service, great price

I've complained enough about Hertz. My new rental company is Enterprise. And I don't just like them because everyone else is so bad; I actually enjoyed renting my last car! Snapshots: The van at LAX was full but when we arrived at the rental facility off airport, a bunch of agents came out of the back room so there was no line waiting for an agent. When the agent checked me in, he personally come around the counter, took me to the car, and explained the contract. When I drove out of the lot in my car, I found a photocopy of the directions for getting back to the rental lot; on the other side was a printed weather forecast and a list of radio stations I could listen to. (Why has it taken a rental car company this long to think of telling me how to find local radio stations?) When I brought the car back, the people who checked it in were dressed well, spoke English clearly, and seemed to be enjoying their jobs. When I looked at my bill, I discovered the car had cost me $26 for two days  -- $13 a day for a midsize car in Los Angeles! And Enterprise didn't rape me for using some of their gas. To top it off, the driver of the van had to have been one of the liveliest, funniest people I've met and he had the whole van going, obviously enjoying his banter.

I only wish Enterprise had airport rentals at Santa Barbara so I didn't have to put up with the attitude and snarky policies of the usual suspects at that airport.

Motel 6 Bargain

$41.57. For two people (my son and myself in Needles, CA on our way to Santa Fe) for one night. Two beds. A shower. No cockroachs or other insects. Not too noisy (other than a few train whistles). And 20% off at the 24-hour Denny's next door. What more could you want for the price?

Not Hertz Again?!

This time Hertz sent me an email, so how can I resist? I guess they are thinking that this is a great example of advanced customer service. Yeah? The email is unformatted and told me to visit a web site to update my profile. It gave me the URL but they didn't turn it into clickable text, so I would have to copy and paste the URL into my browser. But the best part of this email was the note at the bottom which read:

"This e-mail was automatically generated from a non- response mailbox. To contact us regarding this message or regarding your Hertz #1 Club Gold membership, send an e-mail to gold_service@hertz.com."

Most emails like this say "Do not reply to this email as it was sent from an unattended mailbox." Hertz actually mangled that so bad that you have to think about what it means that an email is automatically generated from a non-response mailbox. It means that Hertz sent me an email without thinking about it and without making it useful or interactive! Very advanced....

Customer Service Through Bankruptcy

Isn't this great positioning? Can you imagine the marketing meeting where everybody sat around, thinking about how to position going bankrupt? "Hey, let's say we decided to go bankrupt to simplify the whole experience of being an airline customer!"
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Dear Mr. Alsop,

As you may know, Delta Air Lines filed to reorganize under Chapter 11 of the U.S. Bankruptcy Code. We have taken this action as part of our ongoing efforts to make Delta a simpler, more efficient and cost-effective airline. On behalf of the tens of thousands of Delta employees worldwide who look forward to welcoming you onboard every day, I want to assure you Delta is open for business as usual:
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The email goes on to explain how my miles are secure and the airplanes still work and everything. But I do feel re-assured, particularly since I'm getting on a Delta airplane on Sunday!