Alsop's Small Thoughts

Oh, Don't Let Me Down, Mini!

Any regular reader knows how smitten I am with my Mini. I've even ordered a new one. But the post-ordering process has been a huge let-down, given the nearly iPhone-esque expectations I have for Mini. The Mini website (www.miniusa.com for prospective owners or ol.miniusa.com for owners; ol is short for Owners Lounge) is pure advertising agency, flashy and slow Internet 1.0 garbage.

You have to have an 8-character password, for instance, when the standard for non-financial sites is 6 characters. (Of course, my new standard password is 7 characters, so I'm constantly having to reset my OL password. And right now, I'm locked out because I made three attempts with the wrong password. Locked out?)

The log-in is at a special web page, rather than letting you sign in at the front door that's easy to remember. The whole site is designed around what were probably really "neat" animations four years ago. But they haven't been updated, even to reflect the new model cars.

Worse, what was a great idea when the car was introduced is now just embarrassing: You can track the car you order through production and delivery. Sort of. Actually, what you can do is watch an stored video of generic cars at different stages of production. So you're not actually looking at or seeing your car, just getting a kind of pseudo alert designed to make you think you're seeing you car go through production. No email alerts. You have to check in manually.

More telling, when I finally get to where I could check on the status of my car, I got the following message: "According to our system check, you currently have the Flash plugin version 2 installed. To properly view MINI Order Tracking, please click here to update your Flash plugin to the latest version. If you believe this message to be in error, please CLICK HERE to bypass the system check." It's bad enough that the system developers didn't know how to validate the Flash plugin; they tell the user to figure it out and bypass the error message manually. But I think that, since Mini implemented this site, Adobe Flash plug-in has gone from Version 2 to Version 8! The message isn't that I have wrong version; it's that the designers of the site were so clueless they didn't think that the version number would increase!

One thing non-technology companies miss about the Web is that they view as a one-time commitment. So Mini probably spent millions of dollars with their agency designing this web site when the car was introduced in 2002. But they didn't set up a system to update the site and deal with new technologies. Wouldn't it be cool, I think to myself, if there were web cameras set up so I could actually see my car being built? Maybe the next Mini I buy, in 2012?

PS: Turns out my Mini has already been built and is "en route". I wish they'd tell me where it is!

Music Labels Don't Deserve the Name

I just opened two new CDs. The thought occurred to me; the companies that package these things are referred to as "music labels". But their labels, the jewel cases in which they ship the actual CDs, are a testament to how poorly they think of their customers and a complete travesty in light of the declining sales of CDs. Why, please tell, would any company in the world make it harder to open their product, when it is clear that customers are choosing NOT to buy that product?

Attached is a photo of the main offending feature of the label's packaging. The glued on strip that can't be torn off in one piece that keeps the two pieces of the jewel case stuck to each other. It is designed that way to make it difficult for customers in store to remove the CD without buying it. It is one of many ways that the labels designed to reduce or eliminate theft in stores, essentially by making it harder for customers.

I've been thinking that Amazon.com could do us all a huge favor; make it a requirement of being distributed by Amazon that the labels ship CDs in open jewel cases. That way, the labels would probably respond to pressure and actually do something nice for their customers.

Why Do We Hate Meter Maids?

I got a parking ticket for "wheels straight". That's right; it cost me $35 for not "crimping my wheels to the curb". The meter maid watched me park, waited for me to walk away, then stopped, inspected my car, and wrote a ticket for not crimping my wheels to the curb. She claimed that the street, 14th Street between Dolores and Guerrero (so you can look and decide for yourself), is more than a 3% grade. There were no signs warning you to crimp your wheels and I didn't bring my GMT (grade measurement tool) with me.

When I approached the maid (and yes, she was a she), she was hostile, did not bother to be polite and acted like I was a fool for not knowing these things. On her citation: she is identified as E.Y. Hey, lady, if you're going to be a witch, at least have the courtesy to identify yourself. Otherwise, your customers (ie the people who make it possible for you to have your job) might end up thinking that you are a witch.

Reference: Citation #729486030, dated June 1, 2007 and time stamped 11:32am. I paid it because I don't want to have to fight city hall.

Credit Card Security BS

Have you ever had your credit card suspended because you went on vacation and started using it in a different place or because you decided to go shopping one day and made multiple purchases in a small area? It's happened to me at least five times over the past few years. In order to unlock my card, I have to call "Credit Card Security" at my issuing institution. They ask me to identify transactions in order to determine if I am actually the one using the credit card.

This is all couched in terms of security designed to protect me from fraud. But it's really loss-prevention for the credit card company or bank, since they by law and choice cover all the losses. What really infuriated me, though, is that it doesn't seem to work when you actually want it to!

I lost my ATM card last week, when I was staying in Santa Monica (to attend Star Wars Celebration IV in Los Angeles). I didn't realize that I had lost it until I checked my bank account online and discovered a bunch of random charges in and around Santa Monica. (The charges started three days after I lost the card.) I reported the card missingly immediately, but the charges didn't stop for another 24 hours.

But here's what really riles me: Whoever found my card used it in 20 separate credit card transactions in 48 hours and charged a total of $2,157.90. Four of those transactions were at a jewelry store and two at Banana Republic, all six for between $200 and $500. Of course, my bank  (or their insurance company) will cover the losses, so it doesn't cost me a dime. But this is precisely the kind of pattern that the "Credit Card Security" people say leads them to freeze my cards "protect me from crime". But the very first time I've ever lost a card, that vaunted security fails to spot the crime and the card remains unfrozen until I notice the problem and call in!

The good customer service is covering the losses and issuing a temporary replacement card in less than 24 hours. The bad customer service is lying to your customers about your reasons for wanting to minimize losses, which is a perfectly legitimate activity.