Alsop's Small Thoughts

No More Rebates, Please!

Repeat after me: DO NOT THROW THE BOX OUT! I threw out the box that my new Linksys router came in, being an inherently neat person. Now I realize that the only way to get one of the four rebates that came with that product is to remove the MAC address label from the outside of the box and attach it to the rebate form. In the case of all four of the rebates, I have to collect the rebate form, the rebate receipt, and some number or other data, put them in an envelope and mail them somewhere and wait 4-6 weeks to get a check. The rebates are obviously offered on the basis that some percentage, probably small, of all customers will actually go through the painful process of claiming the rebate.

I hate rebates. They are an example of some cold, calculating process that calculates how to make the process of buying so painful that the customer will end up spending more money than they planned on the product. It is Machiavellian and makes me feel worse about the company I do business with. The four  rebates I have to file for come from a combination of Linksys and Vonage ($50, $30, $10 and a $25 gift card, for a total value of $115 on a product that cost $129). I have a rebate from Cingular for a new cell phone I bought ($100). I have a rebate from TiVo ($150). I have another rebate somewhere in my stack of paper, so I can get around $400 back. I probably won't do it. I'll feel terrible about myself for not doing it. I'll feel bad about the products I bought and the companies that sell those products. I hate rebates.

Chase Customer Disservice

Here's a good one! I logged into my credit card account tonight and, presto chango, the entire site had changed and would not accept my user name and password. Indeed, in the name of security, after three attempts to log in, it locked me out of my own account.

What happened? Chase must have bought FirstUSA, which was managing my credit card (and which had previously bought First Chicago). And some jerk (probably some arrogant IT jerk) decided to make my credit card access like their credit card access. So tonight my web browser didn't recognize the URL they switched me to -- without any warning whatsoever. And, having switched me to a new URL, they no longer accept my user name and password, forcing me to call the customer service line.

Of course, I got a very nice person who told me that she was sorry but I had to talk to an "Internet specialist" and that the wait time for this specialist was seven minutes. I got somewhat upset that I could no longer access my own account information. She said that she was sorry but she couldn't work magic and that she could either give me the direct phone number to call later or transfer me onto hold for seven minutes.

Now I'm on hold and the hold system told me that the wait time is more than 10 minutes. And, every few minutes, a very friendly message comes on to tell me that, for MY convenience, I can use the web site or call back and use the automated response system. Hold on a minute, someone answered....

There: I finally got to talk to the "internet specialist". Chase did a web-site merger, and obviously a lot of people were having a problem with the change, which is why the hold time (at 8:45pm PST!) was so long. I had to come up with a new password. The new password had to be more than seven characters, had to have at least one letter or number but couldn't use any special characters. It also couldn't be the same password as the last five passwords I had used on the same account. In essence: I have to come up with an entirely new password, one that doesn't look or sound anything like the five or six passwords that I'm already trying to remember that also can't be the same as this one. I got upset again and it's really hard to come up with a new password when you're pissed off at the customer service agent who's doing their darndest not to get pissed off back at you. So I came up with a brand-new password and wrote it down, which is exactly the worst thing to do with a new password. But it's the only way I'm going to be able to remember it!

You know what? I don't care how many miles I get from United Airlines for this credit card. It's not worth dealing with these arrogant, insensitive people. I will be getting a new credit card as soon as I can fit that into everything else I'm trying to do every day. And it certainly won't be a credit card managed by Chase!