Alsop's Small Thoughts

CS Rant: United's "non-refundable" fares

Everybody loves to complain about big airlines. It's intimidating to try to be creative in ranting about United, in particular, even though I am a Million Miler and Global Services Customer with a black Mileage Plus card. But this incident took the cake.

I bought a non-refundable ticket to fly from San Francisco to Albuquerque and back. I know that non-refundable means that you pay a charge to change the ticket, usually $100. The ticket cost me $355.40. After buying the ticket online, I had to change it: It was a personal trip and I had to make the change for personal reasons, so I couldn't lay the cost off on business. That might explain why what happened next felt really personal.

I called United Global Services Customer Support (you know the special phone number for really special customers). The person who answered the phone, after I was on hold for only a minute or so, immediately informed me that I had a non-refundable ticket. I told him that I knew that but that I had to cancel the outbound segment of the trip and keep the return. He then repeated that I had a non-refundable ticket and told me that, after I was charged the $100 fee, I would be due a refund of $90.20. (No, I can't figure out the math, either.) I said that I understood but that I wanted to buy another round-trip ticket and could he apply the refund to this new ticket. He reminded me once again that I had a non-refundable ticket.

You know the answer to the question, just because I'm writing this rant. Of course not! The reason: United would issue the refund as a travel credit and mail it to me. When I received the promised voucher, in 4-6 weeks, I would need to go to an airport or United ticket office to use the voucher. When I enquired whether I could use the voucher in making an online reservation, he said that was a "feature" that would be introduced early next year.

I reminded him that I am a Million Miler and Global Services customer and asked him if he was allowed to make an exception for special customers and help me use the refund or otherwise provide me with a useful customer service. He told me that he had to abide by the rules and, once again, reminded me that I was the one who had bought a non-refundable ticket, as though that was a criminal act. I couldn't help thinking what sick shape United really is in, if it's customer service people for their best customers are trained to be insipid and imperious. I told him that he appeared to have done everything he could for me and hung up the phone.

I've since received the voucher. I not only have to turn it in physically (meaning that I can't apply it to a reservation already made, but have to make the reservation physically in order to use the credit) but I can only use it on United (not even United's codeshare partners; so much for the Star Alliance) and must use it within a year.

Here's the rant: In the age of electronic commerce and Web 2.0, United Airlines collected my money to pay for my ticket instantly. But in that same age of electronic commerce, I had to wait for United to mail me a paper certificate that is not a "refund" of real money paid to them for a service they never provided to me. They haven't even troubled themselves to make that refund useable on the very same Web site on which they are able to take my money instantly! And all this for one of their best customers.

Mileage reward programs used to motivate me. But this summer I've flown round trip twice on Jet Blue and twice on Southwest Airlines. They have customer reward programs, which I don't know much about and don't seem very useful. But I do know that if I have to change or cancel a reserved flight, they keep track of my credits electronically and will apply those credits automatically when I make another reservation. I have to use the credits within a year and on the same airline. But I don't have to wait for the mail and I don't have to go to the airport to make a reservation. I feel much more like a human being who is treated as a rational and responsible member of the human race, rather than a despicable, potential criminal trying to steal something.

I'm past caring about the 509,641 miles I have in my Mileage Plus account and am planning to only fly United when I absolutely have to. This after 20+ years of favoring United out of San Francisco airport.

Wonder why United went bankrupt and seems to have trouble managing itself, when it treats its best customers this way?

CS Rant: New York Times

This morning, Robin and I were reading the New York Times over breakfast. Per usual, I started with the business section so she could start with the front page. When we swapped, I started reading "Apple, Digital Music's Angel, Earns Record Industry's Scorn" (great story, whole other post about how the record labels struggle to understand or even care about their own customers). But it immediately jumped to the Business section, which Robin was reading.

To my mind, this is the fundamentally arrogant attitude that is at the core of all of the New York Times' problems in this modern day: business or editorial (even though it increased circulation slightly this year). Most other daily newspapers have recognized that they are often read by more than one person at a time and jump their stories inside a section. That means they don't create conflict among closely related people and they make it easy for an individual reader to actually finish a story in one reading. In other words, they put the customer first, before their own archaic notions of how a newspaper should operate.

The New York Times appears to believe that it is such a must-read that it does not need to satisfy customer interests and that the customers will do what they need to suffer inconvenience. At some point, each customer will ultimately decide (perhaps by switching to another newspaper, perhaps by just using the Web version of the NY Times) not to continue to pay the New York Times for the privilege of being abused by its print edition.

Cancelling eFax service

Not really a rant. I just wanted to cancel eFax after months of paying $12.95 to get junk faxes. You can't cancel on the Web site. (Bad bad customer service, not to allow customers to cancel easily.) But you can cancel by chatting live with customer service. Here is the transcript of my cancellation session. Note that I had to insist three times to get Simson to cancel. Read the transcript and you might wonder whether Simson is really a person.
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Please wait for a site operator to respond.You are currently number 1 of 1  in the queue. Thank you for your patience.
You are now chatting with 'Simson Harris'
Simson Harris: Hello, Stewart. Welcome to j2 Global's online support. I am Simson, your online live Support Representative. How are you doing today?
Stewart: I want to cancel my eFax account, please.
Simson Harris: I'm sorry to hear that you wish to cancel. Could you please provide me your Fax number and PIN for verification purposes?
Stewart: 1-415-520-0125, ****
Simson Harris: Thank you for the information. Please give me a moment while I pull up your account. In the meanwhile, may I ask you why you are canceling the account?
Stewart: I don't use the account and all I get are junk faxes.
Simson Harris: If you believe that you are in receipt of a junk fax, we ask that you take the following steps:
Simson Harris: 1. If the junk fax contains a phone number, fax number or other contact information to "unsubscribe" from receipt of additional junk faxes, please do so.
Simson Harris: 2. Submit the offending fax to us at http://www.efax.com/en/efax/twa/abuse. Upon verifying your complaint, we will initiate legal action against the sender.
Simson Harris: We will work with the FCC to prevent any junk faxes from the same source.
Simson Harris: Stewart, I shall waive off your monthly fees for the next 2 months, so that you may utilize our services without being billed/charged which during this period. This way you will be able to keep your local fax number for some more time and if you feel that it is still not worth keeping the account, then there is certainly no obligation to stay back with our service. We are suggesting this so that you can give it a second thought.
Simson Harris: It could indeed be very helpful (as we have found so, with many customers) to keep the account during this period to see if the need ever arises for our services. If so, you will still have the account. If not, then no harm done. You can always contact us back at the end of this period and intimate us of your decision to continue with the service or not.
Stewart: i still want to cancel my account
Simson Harris: Stewart, I shall waive off your monthly fees for the next 2 months, so that you may utilize our services without being billed/charged which during this period. This way you will be able to keep your local fax number for some more time and if you feel that it is still not worth keeping the account, then there is certainly no obligation to stay back with our service. We are suggesting this so that you can give it a second thought.
Simson Harris: It could indeed be very helpful (as we have found so, with many customers) to keep the account during this period to see if the need ever arises for our services. If so, you will still have the account. If not, then no harm done. You can always contact us back at the end of this period and intimate us of your decision to continue with the service or not.
Simson Harris: Can I update your account with the above special offer now?
Stewart: I have asked twice now. Please cancel my account.
Simson Harris: Okay. I will cancel your number immediately.
Simson Harris: This is the affirmative confirmation that your account has just been cancelled and all your account information has automatically been deleted by our system.
Simson Harris: I'm sorry that you are leaving eFax. At eFax, we are continuously improving our products and services. Please do consider us if your faxing needs should change in the future.
Simson Harris: Thank you and have a great day.
Simson Harris: Bye.

Ripped Off by Davy Crockett

There was one room left in all of Santa Barbara: At the Fess Parker Doubletree Resort for $414. I took it.

Checked in at 10pm Saturday evening. Tried the PC but its security log is full and only an administrator can "fix the problem". Fortunately, I brought both of my computers. On the Macintosh, the wireless internet failed to authenticate me as myself. The front desk told me to call the Hotline. I said I didn't want to do that. (Been there done that!) I said that I thought the reason for paying $9.95 a night for internet access was that it would actually work. He said they are having trouble with it throughout the hotel and would send a "wireless bridge" to my room. Now it's 10:47pm, no wireless bridge. Oops: The wireless bridge came. Same result: Couldn't authenticate me as myself. Still don't know what a wireless bridge is. I gave up, checked out early the next day, and went to Starbucks to send my email there. Guess what: The network in that Starbucks didn't work either.

(This was Saturday night and Sunday morning. I finally got enough time on the computer on the Internet to post this on Monday morning.)

Contrast: I paid $414 plus tax for the Fess Parker, which was more like a Holiday Inn even forgetting the Internet access. I checked into the Loew's Santa Monica last night. High speed wired Internet that works and a first class hotel for $295. That's why I was ripped off by Fess Parker, no disrespect meant to Davy Crockett, my man!

Customer service rant: Hertz #2

Unable to actually talk on the phone to a human being at Hertz who knows something about my rental reservation (see Renting Wasted Time), I decided to visit the Hertz office where I am due to pick the car up on Saturday. There I had the distinct pleasure of learning that A) the clerk is "restricted" from being able to see reservation records until two days before the reservation; B) I needed to pick up the toll free phone (see Renting Wasted Time) to find out what class of car I had reserved; C) that I must be stupid to not know what cars are including under the friendly moniker "L00 (SFAR) 4WD/AWD SUV" that I was able to look up in my Handspring Treo (since I'm not restricted from looking up records in my little computer thingie); D) that I shouldn't use profanities when a customer service representative is unable to provide a customer with service and is snotty about it to boot!

Anybody know a good rental car company that I could use instead of Hertz. (And I doubt it's Avis!)

Renting Wasted TIme

I called Hertz today. I wanted to talk an actual human being in the office where I'm picking up a rental on Saturday. I wanted to make sure they would actually have the car I reserved. I called the local number. I got a message center in Oklahoma. The lady was very nice, but she couldn't look at my reservation, she couldn't get me on the line with someone in the renting office, she couldn't even remember that I had called an office in San Francisco, and she really couldn't do anything for me. So I told her I would go physically to the office.

Isn't that great customer service design? Make it impossible to talk to the person you need to talk to and ensure that the person you do talk to can't possibly respond to your request.

Offensive Driving

Have you ever noticed how other drivers will adjust their driving based on what you do? I've been driving a lot in the last six months, all in my stick shift Mini Cooper. Up and down Route 101 and Route 280 and particularly 19th Avenue in San Francisco, through all those traffic lights. I find it really offensive (I'll take this up with my shrink) that drivers don't stick to their own driving. Case in point: A driver is in the left lane, going more slowly than I want to go, say 60 mph. I move to the right to pass them at 70mph, but just as I draw even, they speed up to 70mph. So I have to go even faster to get past them, then worrying about whether I will get tagged for speeding. As soon as I do pass them, they slow back down to whatever speed they were going before.

I spend the next three minutes wondering what was going through their mind, if anything: Were they conscious of making it harder for me to pass them? Were they sleep driving (a common practice in California) and reacting sub-consciously?

Another case: I'm happily driving down in the third lane (all freeways in California have eight lanes, by the way). There is a car driving at a slower pace ahead of me in the second lane. Even though there is not a car in front of the second-car lane, the driver puts on his turn signal and switches to the lane in front of me. That forces me to slow down or change lanes to go around him.

I wish I could focus on great thoughts while driving, rather than trying to evaluate and control the behavior of all the other drivers.

Blackberry Pie In The Presidio

I moved last November into The Presidio, the old Army base in San Francisco, which is now a National Park as well as a place to live and work. It's a really interesting place to live. But the coolest thing I discovered recently is that the Presidio has blackberries growing all over, including the embankments in front and behind my house. I started snarfing the blackberries as I walked to and from my car. I noticed that a lot of other people snarf the blackberries (meaning that I'm not the first person to notice them!). Indeed, here's background about the two varieties of blackberry bushes found in The Presidio. And here's an article from the SF Bay Guardian about foraging for blackberries in Sea Cliff, which is right next to The Presidio.

The more berries I scarfed the more I thought I should harvest them and make something, like a blackberry pie. I don't cook much, so this was kind of thrilling -- the idea of harvesting free food right outside my house and making it into something good to eat. I found a recipe, which is pretty simple and straightforward. It is particularly simple if you use Pillsbury's pre-made crust, which is as good as most scratch pie crusts I've tasted. I like this recipe because it tells you to cook the pie longer; I used another recipe for my second and third pies, which didn't set as well. That recipe tried to be fancy; it said to bake the pie for 10 minutes at 450 degrees and then reduce the heat and cook for 25 minutes at 350 degrees. The better recipe just said to cook for 45-60 minutes at 450 degrees.

Apparently blackberries thrive in the upper Northwest, where there has been some enthusiastic coverage of how to eat them. This article has a recipe for blackberry cobbler. (Don't know the difference between cobbler and pie.) And this one has a recipe for blackberry jam.